The crazy thing is ... I felt better the day after surgery than I had in a month - and my physical recovery has been very good. I'm walking, talking, and enjoying time with my family. The reality is ... while the doctor thinks he got most of the tumor - there were areas of the tumor he could not completely remove - and the pathology report was sobering when it confirmed that my tumor was a Gioblastoma - Grade 4. We are following up with a focused treatment plan of radiation and chemotherapy to attempt to put any remnants of this cancer into remission.
As I have reflected on my experience with brain surgery and this cancer diagnosis - one of the the things that has become clear to me is:
EVERY DAY IS A GIFT!
I've officiated at funerals where a loved one unexpectedly died with no time to communicate things they really wanted to with their family. In my case, my diagnosis is sobering - but I've already had five weeks of time to tell stories, sing songs, take pictures, and say things to my family and others that a deeply important! (The picture at the beginning of this post was taken on June 25th at Lake Wawasee - five weeks after my surgery! The staples in my incision have given way to a little scar - but other than that and the short haircut the surgeon gave me - I look and act pretty "normal" for now!)
I feel like I've experienced my first healing already - surviving brain surgery - and I'm grateful! I'm planning to live a bit longer in this body - but someday it will fail me. I'm OK with that. I am not defined by my body. I am a child of God, made in His image - a spirit - and my journey is ultimately going to end up in His presence - where ultimate healing occurs! I'm in no hurry to get there - but I have a hope that will last forever! So either way, I win!
My commitment now, is to live every day for His glory - to honor my calling as a bond-servant of Jesus - and to honor my covenant marriage with my wife Kathy. By his grace, I plan to do that every day I have the breath of life in me!
Every Day is a Gift ... and I'm thankful!
Stan R. Buck
A Post-Script about This Blog:
I've called this blog "Windsights" because of my love for sailing and my realization that my role in life is to "adjust" to the presence of God's Spirit (pneuma - the "wind" of God). When I sail, I can't tell the wind which direction to blow, but when I "adjust" my sails to the wind - I have the power to move forward. So now, I'm doing some "adjusting" in my life - to respond to what God's Spirit is doing in me.
I may not post a lot more on this site. Prior to my surgery I was making a move to a new blog site: www.stanbuckonline.com Feel free to visit there as I plan to offer some more of the insights and lessons I'm learning from this experience.
I have also created a Caring Bridge site for family and friends to follow my medical journey. You can find that here! (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/stanbuck)